Two birthdays in the span of less than a week.
One anticipates kindergarten.
The other, walking.
It's a HUGE deal that five year old birthday party. So why then did I wait 'til the day before to pull out great grandma's homemade chocolate cake recipe and the KitchenAid? Uhm, I mean, order the cake? A HUGER (yes, my word) deal still that first birthday. And I don't have a single present wrapped yet? Uhm, okay, I mean bought.
What's up with that?
Fine. I'm a crappy mom. But truth be known, I don't even remember my fifth birthday party let alone my first. While some might think me putting the store bought cake on a pedestal and passing it off as my own akin to plagiarism, I think it's sheer genius. But hold on a second. Before my regulars (all 5 of you) jump to my defenses with, "...but you're not a crappy mom...you're really not..." I invite you to raise your glass (hand if you're foregoing) and toast ALL the crappy moms out there like me. And by 'crappy' I mean:
1. You're running around half the time like John Bobbit; your dick in your hands focused on getting that thing sewn back on ASAP but failing to notice that your house is burning down, the dog just ate a pooey diaper and is licking the baby's face and your bra's on inside out.
translation: YOU'RE BUSY
2. You're just a smidge grumpy from that four hour cat-nap most call 'nightime'.
translation: YOU'RE TIRED
3. You pass off the bedtime story because it's easier to snuggle your kiddo tight in your arms as he lays transfixed by (insert cartoon).
translation: YOU'RE SCARED HE'S GROWING UP TOO DAMNED FAST
What's in My Head
Andalucia Awards Baby Barbie bilingualism Bin Laden Boy Wonder BP CF Challenges Charlie Childbirth Christmas clinic Cocks comebacks Conner Cordoba cure current events Cystic Fibrosis diet dirt donations dreams environment Espana eyebrows Fabio faith family Fashion Feng Shui Feria fun funeral God Great Strides half marathon happiness health Healthcare Henry hiatus holidays Holy Week humor Iowa Jamie Oliver Kids labs letter life Lola Mall of America marriage McDonalds me mental health milestones Motherhood moving mud nutrition open book oranges panadero pancreas patience pennies Pharmaceuticals potty training privacy proverb pueblo life purge quirks random real Recipes Resolutions Rock CF Roosters rules running Salads Sarah shit shots Snowman socialism Socialized Medicine Spain State Fair Summer Swimming Pool thyroid Toddler Type A Valencia Valentine Vanilla Ice virtual race VX770 VX809 weight loss wish yardwork