February 25, 2011


I never win anything.  Ever.  There could be a raffle with ten names dropped in the bucket, nine of them mine, and I would come out the loser.  I'm unlucky that way, what can I say?  So imagine my shock when I was recently given a blogging award by Mother Theresa whose blog you should really check out.  Yeah, I know.  Awarded by a friggin' saint.  Me, the girl with the mouth of a drunken sailor.  Who'da thunk it?

But like all good things, it comes with a string or two.  And it goes something like this:
Hey, you won!  Now vomit up 7 facts about yourself in a charming yet witty way and oh yeah, don't forget to pay it forward to a handful of blogs that you wanna crown winners.  Simple enough, I say.  Here goes:


1. I don't do meat on the bone.  Lemme clarify this by saying that I'm no vegetarian. In fact, there's nothing I love more than a bloody steak with my glass of Spanish red. But you will never, ever see me pick up the bone and nibble away at the smidges of clingon meat. I grew up watching my mother do that from across the table and it drove me nuts; the scrunched up nose as she angled her teeth in to rip that last piece of animal flesh off the bone. In a word, yuck. Gimme the meat but you can keep the bone.

2. I cannot go to sleep in an unmade bed.  Not gonna happen. Nope, just can't do it. Yeah I know, I know. It's the OCD again. It doesn't matter how late or how tired I am, I will make the bed first and then turn it down before I get into it.

3. I have better than 20/20 vision.  Yes, I really do.  It's actually a bummer for me since I have always fantasized about wearing really cool, preppy looking glasses.  It also sucks that I can see coffee grounds on the counter top from 30 feet away.

4. I lived in Barajas (Madrid's airport) for almost three days after a Romanian pickpocket walked off with my life.  Airline ticket, passport, drivers license, cash, debit and credit cards; in short, my identity, gone.  TSA (or at least the Spanish equivalent) can be a real bitch when you can't prove who you are, where you're coming from or where you're going.

5. I'm deathly afraid of swimming in natural bodies of water.  DEATHLY AFRAID. It's a good day if I wade out past knee deep whether it's the Mediterranean, the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic. In fact, I'm not above hanging out in the chlorinated pool while on a beach vacation. Sad but true. I'll blame it on my Midwestern upbringing.  And yes, lakes and ponds are out too.

6. I maintain my position that all boobs are overrated.  Take it from me, the girl who's schlepped every size between B and DDD around town. If it were up to me I'd cut the fuckers off. Too bad God didn't make 'em in Velcro. Nice add on for the beach or that plunging neckline but useless the other 363 days of the year.

7. I've successfully completed all coursework for two Masters Degrees: 20th Century Peninsular Studies (Spanish Lit.) and TESOL. Two, count them, TWO!  Yet I have no degree to show for either one of them. Two advanced degrees takes me to near genius level.  Zero diplomas makes me stupid.  Ahhh, the irony.

And now (drum roll) The Newly Crowned.  Get your index finger ready.  Grab that cuppa Jo.  Time to get yourself some new reading material.  You won't regret it and you may just laugh or cry your ass off.  If not the entire ass, at least the Snickers bar you snarfed at lunch.

1. Around the Way Girl in Alabama
Because she just kills me, absolutely KILLS me with stuff like this and this and this.  That and being my long lost soul sister helps. 

2. Froggy Mama in California
Because she is quite possibly my hero in both the literary world and the CF world.  That and my No.8 Special (Pho Saigon) always tastes better in her company.

3. Gemma in United Kingdom
Because I like her.  I like her kid.  And I said so.

4. Danielle in New Jersey
Because she has the heart the size of Texas.  Yeah, it's that big.  That and who cooler to read than a mom who as gone to the Olympic trials more than once?

5. Rea in Algeciras {all-HAY-sear-us} or if you really wanna sack up {all-HAY-THEE-dus}
Because she lives in a place most can't pronounce, she can wrestle a moose with her bare hands, and her kid is freakin' gorge.  Yeah 'gorge' as in gorgeous.  All that and I love Canada almost, but not quite as much, as I love Spain.

6.  Alexandra in Canada
Because she hearts three of mine:  Spain.  Food.  And language.  That and did I mention that Canada rocks?

7.  Blues in Seville, Spain
Because if we all ban together and scream loud enough in angry, whiny CAPS LOCK letters, she just might feel enough pressure to come back.

8. Robin in Russia
Because she's got some cojones that little Florida girl.

9.  MommaBean in Amman, Jordan
Because we could all use the schooling that NBC, ABC and CBS nightly news have starved us of.

10. Mother Theresa in Pamplona, Spain
Because she's the one who started this whole thing and I think it only fitting that demands for a recount, complaints and/or rebuttals be directed to her inbox.  That and she also has a neat little thing going on over at The Rain in Spain that I know you don't want to miss.

Go on now, get out there and make some new friends.


  1. Wow! I don't think I've ever been #1 in anything. THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU. It's my first award for writing. So thanks for that! And now I'm off to check out the others. I already know froggy, but I look forward to meeting the rest. Thanks for the intro.

  2. You're welcome. I love reading your stuff and I think others will too. I can't wait to read your list!!

  3. Hey, thanks a lot :) now I get what the 4 meant! (I'm a little like an energy saving light bulb sometimes, dim).

    Loving your list, random stuff is always entertaining.
    Now if you'll excuse me while I go scream, "you like me, you actually like me" down the street :)


  4. Glad you accepted, Gemma. It's been fun getting to know your cute little kiddo 'across the pond,' so to speak. Now I want to hear about YOU!

  5. Thank you so much for sharing these blogs with me. I'm a parent of a child wcf, online friend of froggymama and tend to live vicariously thru the people on these blogs. Am tempted to start my own blog, yet lead a fairly mundane life compared to the rest of you.


  6. Mundane? I seriously doubt that! Then again, I'm writing a lot lately about my sagging post partum boobs, packing a house full of Fisher Price and wardrobe malfunctions. Who's mundane now, I ask.

    Write on, girl. Write on!

  7. Thanks so much for including my new little blog in this!! so exciting :-)

    PS Velcro boobs are an amazing idea. The ball really got dropped with that one.

  8. @ Robin: I feel so lucky to have stumbled upon your vodka, erh, I mean blog. It's a good read! I can't wait to see what you post in response to the
    award :-)

  9. I could point out that ponds and most lakes in the US are not natural bodies of water. They are man-made. At least this is what my husband often says to me. So, does that count then? Will you swim in a man-made body of water that doesn't require chlorine?

  10. I'm no saint ;)
    Velcro boobs, now there's an idea...a different size for every occasion!

  11. I'm in the losers camp with you but it was fun reading your list and I'm off to check out your chickies!

  12. Lanita: Doesn't matter. If there are worms, fish, turtles, frogs or any living thing that might brush up against me the answer is NO! Once, while on a summer family vacation in Wisconsin, my brother and I drifted too far out in the blow up raft and I had to swim us back to shore. Unable to see over the raft, I paddled us straight into a bed of lily pads. And I FREAKED. I mean FREAKIN'FREAKAZOID FREAKED! I screamed til I was hoarse and ended up leaving my brother stranded in the raft. I don't know how I didn't drown from that panic attack.

    Mother Theresa: What a fun post this was. Thanks again for the award. As for the velcro boobs, I do think there's a future in them. Isn't all about marketing anyway?

    Citymouse: Glad you enjoyed the read! There's more than a few good reads this week~have fun with it!!

  13. Aww shucks. Thank you!!! I can't wait to read all your other favorites. Your blog sends me into hysterics. You are a seriously funny mama and a helluva writer- the sailor mouthed Erma Bombeck of the blogosphere. :) I soooo can't wait to share a plate of curry with you and Susie! Keep writing mama. You cheer up my world. xoxo E

  14. When are you coming back this way, FroggyMama? How's the Frog? Can't wait to read your list.


  15. Check it out, gotchya back: www.vodkaexperience.blogspot.com