Actually, I really have no place to be such a cynic. I did afterall own a suitcase full of her and her friends, each and every one my very own fashion slave. Barbie, Skipper, Ken and a slew of nameless Generics kept me entertained for hours during those long, dark Wisconsin winters. I vaguely remember Ken groping one of them awkwardly with his stiff plastic paws in the upstairs bedroom of the Dream House while Skipper was downstairs making coffee in the kitchen. Thank you Mattel for that first sexual experience in my Madison basement.
|-Catering Barbie's Bakery-|
complete with muffin tins & spatulas
(prescription pills & therapy sessions
First off, she'd need a cool name. Nothing too traditional like "Barbie" because this is afterall, 2011 and everyone has named their kid something different to set them apart. I mean even if you were lucky enough to have gotten a normal name these days you can bet your sweet ass that your parents chose an alternative spelling of it so as to make it unique.
And what would her issue be because we ALL have those too. Alcoholism? Hoarding? Eating disorder? Maybe something less severe but still a real pain in the ass to manage. Procrastinator? Gotta think on that. Might not work for her but it works for me.
Manager at Starbucks by day and Zumba Instructor at the local healthclub by night
Divorced once, current wife to Jim (Ken's co-worker)
The New and Approved Barbie by Mattel