February 17, 2011


Yesterday was a first for me.  Against my better judgement and cloaked in my contraceptive nightware (sweatpants and a thermal long sleeved t-shirt), I called the kids into the master bedroom closet. 
"I need your help, guys.  I'm not sure what to wear to work tomorrow.  Whaddya think?"
Lola looked up at me bewildered as if  to say, "Clothes, dumbass.  Clothes,"  while Charlie ventured a bit more trepadatiously, "You mean we can pick it out?"
"Sure.  Why not?"
Lola eyed my shoe rack, eyes scrolling from summer to winter and back again as Charlie made a beeline for the pants hanging at eye level.  "Here.  These."  Nice.  My black fatties.  They hung too loose and I'd be tugging them up all day but they were far better than the alternative hanging two inches to the right.  Definitely dodged a bullet there.  Phew.  "And THAT one!"  A finger shot up to a silver sparkly top with a plunging criss cross neckline. 
"Ooooooo, " purred Lola, "I like shiny."
Conservative on the bottom and a little rock n roll on the top.  It's not like I had a choice at this point.  Besides, staying true to the rules of my Before 40 Bucket List, I would not try to sway the kids one way or another.  This was their choice.  I'd have to redeem myself at work another day.  "I like it Charlie.  Good choice.  But what about my feet?"

Charlie reached for my black pumps with the gray speck of buckle on the toe and I felt a wave of relief wash over me.  Apparently he had remembered these shoes as part of my standard "look" when wearing anything black.  That and I'm sure he was sick of the game and just wanted to get back to the pile of race cars strewn all over the living room floor.  I would go to work the next day having completed my first bucket list item and no one would be the wiser.

Well, Lola was all over that shit.  "No!  I want these."

So much for discretion.  She had selected a pair of brown strappy sandals with a wedge heel.  A mistake I had made three years ago and had forgotten to purge.  I briefly contemplated how to play this card as Charlie examined them.


The pumps hit the closet floor with a hollow thud.  It was decided.  The brown sandals would be going to work with me in the morning. 
"You're gonna need some socks with those, Mama."
"Ya think so, Charlie?"  Oh boy.  Now I was starting to sweat.
"Oh yeah.  There's snow outside.  Your toes might get cold with these holes."  He wove his fingers through the straps of the open toe to emphasize his point.
"Ohhhhh, yeah.  I hadn't thought about that, good point." Shit.
He blew past me through the closet doorway and headed for the socks packed snuggly the bedroom's armoir.  Before I knew it a pair of gray ankle socks were thrust into my ribcage.  Thanking him, I managed two additional thank yous; one for the fact that he had pulled a pair with no holes and two that he had somehow, perhaps by Divine Intervention, missed the drawer full of white running socks.

And as fast as it had started, it was over.  My outfit for the the next day of work was laid out and ready to go.  The kids took off, content at having accomplished said chore so efficiently and I stood there taking inventory:
  • 1 pair of black pants
  • 1 silver, long sleeved shimmery top with a plunging neckline
  • 1 pair of gray ankle socks
  • 1 pair of strappy brown sandals on a wedge heel 
A smile crept past my lips.  And I remembered Paris, a city I have visited just four times in my lifetime and loved each time more than the previous.  The Parisian women with their silky scarves blowing behind them and their designer shoes clicking with delicate precision against the sidewalks crowded with foreign tourists in dirty tennis shoes. 

My foot.  My shoe.  My sock.
My Mission Complete.

Tomorrow I would be one of them - Parisian

Not in fashion but definitely, most definitely, in attitude.


  1. Cute. And you are a brave woman. Lucky the kids seemed to pick out a decent ensemble, stylist in their future? I want a picture of the ENTIRE outfit though. If you'd ask this question at my house, George would have picked out sweatpants but Sophia, my Sophia, would have been all over that. You would shine, sparkle and twirl!! She and lola would make a dangerous team.

  2. LOVE this! Brave woman, you.
    And I'm going to have to quote you on "contraceptive nightwear" next time I get The Look from my husband when I climb into bed wearing my most beloved and holey college tee.

  3. How'd that work out for you???

  4. @Stacey: I worked it girl. I worked it HARD! And then I nearly broke my neck on the way into the building from the parking lot when I slipped on a patch of black ice. Good times my friend, good times.

  5. Couldn't have said it better myself, Oreneta!

  6. So brave! But it is all about the attitude. If you have the self belief it looks good, it will (well sort of).

    On a bright note, things could have been much more challenging.
    Did any of your work colleagues commend you on your ensemble?


  7. @ Gemma: Not a word. But they did laugh their asses off.

  8. Brilliant! You're a brave woman. Okay, I see the shoes with the socks, but I need to see the whole outfit...I want to see that shimmery top. Oh, by the way, there's a surprise for you at my place.

  9. OK, so how did it go? There was nothing wrong with your outfit, you are just in the wrong town. See


  10. Huachafa for a great cuase. Love it!

  11. Thanks for the surprise, Mama T. I'm all over it & I'll work on getting that pic for a photo of the day.

    @ Rea: Oh you ARE a peach! Thanks for the back up. Those photos prove my point - it's all about attitude. And yes, I think I might look extra hot in the 101 Dalmation number.

    @ Susie: Thanks girlfriend. Right back atcha!

  12. I would be very interested to hear the comments you received from your co-workers. I wouldn't sweat too much if I let my six year old dress me in the morning. She is a future What Not To Wear hostess and a Stacy London prodigy.

  13. Hot liquids don't feel good comin out of the nose. Did you know that?
    So imagine how much it sucked for me to shoot coffee out of my nose holes when I read this. I literally LOLed.

  14. @Lanita: Sadly, nobody said a word. I guess I'm not as important as I think myself to be. But I did see some snickers.

    @Lesley: Think of it as my gift to you...a nasal decongestant.