ME.

I like to think of myself as an open book; chock full of dog-eared pages and wrapped in a weathered cover. So you'd think that starting this blog would have come easy. Actually, it has been anything but. I liken it to jumping into the deep end of the ocean. I really didn't have a plan, know what direction it would ultimately take, or know if anyone would care to read it which is probably why I find it so easy to push it aside 'til the next week, the next month, or the next full moon. So for those of you still reading, here's a little fodder about Yours Truly. I'm actually cheating by posting this since I wrote it quite a while ago but it's me 100% cut and dry when my brain takes a vacation from cystic fibrosis.

25 Random Things about Yours Truly

1. I still think cell phones are stupid. Who is really THAT important that they need to be on call 24/7. A cardiothoracic surgeon? Okay. Manager of a nuclear power plant? Fine. The other 98% of the population? I don't think so.

2. If I were 20 pounds thinner and had the balls, I'd shave my head like Sinead O'connor. I've come to terms with never sporting long, wavy tresses like Cindy Crawford or Drew Barrymore. The only thing holding me back would be the guffaws from friends and family as they wondered aloud if I was undergoing chemotherapy.

3. I have not slept 8 hours uninteruppted in nearly 5 years. This may be why I sometimes fantasize about throwing a brick at Joe's face when he complains of being "Soooooooo tired."

4. I currently have four different sizes of clothing in my closet. They are, in order from smallest to largest, affectionately referred to as: "Back in the day, " "Ooooh, maybe that second helping wasn't such a good idea afterall," "Elastic waistband: friend or foe?" and "It's official, my ass is huge."

5. Before I die, I would like to have written and published a book.

6. Had it not been for Kat and Annie Loo, I would have QUIT the sorority. Erh...I mean "deactivated."

7. I take my cream with a touch of coffee and a snippet of sugar. Yes, creamer overload. As I remind Joe, who at this stage of the game needs no reminding, "Make it the same (previous) color as the kitchen walls - a cross between mocha and taupe." Whadda guy!

8. I have singlehandedly (and unintentionally) taught my 3 year old every naughty word/expression that he knows. The other day he confessed that he "was REALLY pissed off." This from a 3 year old because he couldn't finagle the play button on the remote control. I'm such a failure.

9. I regularly "discuss" (aka. argue) with radio talk show hosts as I drive around town. Though I'd never call in to make my point heard to the listening audience, I feel quite confident that my points are valid nonetheless. I can only hope that other drivers think I'm using my "hands-free" device since I do this while driving alone.

10. If it were covered by my insurance I'd voluntarily have my breasts surgically removed. As far as I'm concerned an A cup would be too big.

11. Hawaii is overrated. I think I'd rather go to the Badlands than back to Hawaii.

12. I'm going to have more kids. Ideally, I'd like 4 but wouldn't object to an accidental 5th.

13. I've had the same earrings in for over a year - minus the hospital stays of course.

14. I brush my teeth in the shower. Always a multitasker, I realize that this is taking it to the next level.

15. I voted for George Bush. Twice. I'm hoping that the last election will redeem me. Don't let me down, Barack.

16. Lately I'm freaking out. I mean REALLY freaking out about being middle aged. You know, 36 is more than half way to 70. Holy crap!

17. I still solve 7+4, 7+5, and 8+4 equations on my fingers. I don't know why, but those three combos never stuck. It would foreshadow quite accurately my future troubles when it came to math.

18. I've never, ever lied to my husband.

19. It stresses me out to talk to someone with a wandering eye. I never know which eyeball to focus on and oftentimes end up staring at their nose. I have to keep the conversation short because focussing for too long on someone's nose usually leads to a headache for me.

20. I've accepted the fact that my Spanish has indeed fossilized. I've become my father-in-law, speaking in a strange Indian tongue as I ask my son to "Comer el comida mucho rapido." It's all so depressing.

21. Once - and only once, while pregnant with Lola, I confronted and yelled at a woman who had parked in the "Expectant Mother" parking spot in front of the grocery store. In my defense, it was about a month before my due date and I was miserable. Plus, the bitch was skinny.

22. Had I not gone down the family path, I think I would have made a great secret agent for the CIA. I have to be honest though, the basic skills portion of the interview process may have gotten me booted from the selection pool (see response to #17).

23. If given the chance to take a free trip to the moon or another planet, I think I'd decline. Who wants to travel that far to someplace without maid service? No thanks.

24. I love to rock out to John Denver in the car. "Rocky Mountain Hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, Colorado..." really gets my blood pumpin'.

25. If I could have one superpower, it would be the ability to stop/freeze time. I've always thought what great fun it would be to wander around undetected. I would totally take advantage of it too - posing people in awkward &/or embarrassing situations would be hilarious.